I promised when I did the post about How The Male Orgasm Feels I would return and explore or explain, how an orgasm feels for a woman. Well, not me but rather my good friend, who was kind enough to give me these private details.
This is what she told me:
Starting with which body parts feel good. Now remember, every woman is different, so, this is an account of what I know for myself.
The very tip of the nipples have nerves that seem to be directly linked to the clitoris. It feels good at the nipple itself, but it also seems to make it feel good at the clitoris as well. I’m not sure if this connection is made mentally or physically, or both. And the reason I say this, is because there was a point in time I did NOT get aroused when my nipples were stimulated, but in fact got annoyed. The sensation is there, and perhaps the interpretation to this sensitivity is subjective according to a person’s experiences.
For one example, women who nurse are familiar with the sensitivity but may have a hard time translating that sensation into sexual pleasure and might need to make the distinction in their mind in order for it to be so. The rest of the breasts, for me, is like fondling my butt cheek. It’s okay, but doesn’t produce pleasure on the spot, but thinking what it could lead to, does. And when my breasts are stroked and fondled, I thrust them forward for nipple stimulation. I think of the nipple as the clit for the breast.
And on to that wonderful little mechanism called the clitoris. That is where the real excitement happens (please add a “for me” whenever I speak in a factual way about anything) But it’s a sensitive, and can be a complicated mechanism for some.
How does the clit feel? The clitoris can be stimulated without touch. If I think or hear something sexual, the clit will almost receive the words with a pulsing, tingling, thick and maybe hot sensation. And it will continue to throb if that kind of stimulation continues without touch. In fact, if I’m reading an erotic book, the clit will throb in a very hot and deep way and feel like it’s sensitive and thick. I’d venture to say that the clit is a tiny penis that becomes hard, in that respect.
Now add physical stimulation after the clit is already aroused, and orgasm is easily achieved. It can be quick, depending on speed and pressure applied. But let’s approach the feelings of the clit from two sides. An already stimulated clit and starting stimulation from scratch.
When the clit hasn’t been stimulated yet, I can stimulate by touch, but it takes an exact amount of pressure, which seem to be achieved with the middle and the ring finger (again for me) and a counterclockwise rotation in a circle over it. If you press too hard, it actually doesn’t feel good, just too much sensation. So, if you rub like with the pressure of… playdough on the table, as if you want to make it into a small ball. Soft enough that you can’t really feel what’s beneath it very much, or the same pressure you would use to massage your eyeballs? Haha.
As you do this, it slowly builds a tingling heat that sort of tickles and makes you want to squirm and pump your hips because it feels good and you want more of it. There are things you can do to make it feel better, like opening the lips while thrusting, and making the skin around the clit tight, that feels good too.
One thing that adds to this pleasure is nipple stimulation. And yet another added pleasure is being fingered rapidly with one finger, not too deep because you don’t want to disturb the g-spot (I’ll talk about that in a moment) and throw off the wave you’re building in your clit region. (yes, the two different pleasures can cancel one another out if it’s not done in a timely fashion.)
But a finger being “rapidly” driven in and out is just the right amount of vaginal stimulation. Like a tease. It’s not too much, not too little and it helps build without becoming greater than the clotoris wave you’re building. Another thing that feels good for some is the anus being teased. Again, light stimulation seems to beckon and build without disrupting the clitoris orgasm being built. And for me, the slower that heat builds, the BETTER it feels. Maybe it’s because you get to have it longer, I’m not sure.
Now, once the clitoris is stimulated past a point where not much will get it unstimulated or disrupt the build, then you can get a little more aggressive in the vagina and anus stimulations. Not too aggressive though. Just a little more and it will continue to build her higher. If the penis is used, it feels very good to have the legs forced open wide. I almost want to use caps instead of italics, because I can’t emphasize this enough. I’m not sure what it does for me, but it is just extremely arousing. I think women love things like ‘hard” but also “control.”
Once her clit is at maximum stimulation, there isn’t much that can stop it except pain. So, be careful there. (and maybe for some, that may add, but it’s the exception)
It’s nice when the teasing methods are being maintained with the harder passion or penal thrusting. Like the nipples and the anus (now there’s a title). Just the tip of the pinky in the anus in a wiggling motion is marvelous. But ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS make sure anything you touch on the vagina is WELL LUBRICATED. The man’s precum is the best for this, I find. Otherwise, it will irritate, annoy, and bring discomfort. I don’t care what you have to do, make SURE she’s properly lubricated at ALL times. (Yes, lubrication wears off!) Especially the anus needs lubrication.
Now, as far as the actual clitoral orgasm and how it feels. Just before the orgasm, the heat expands and covers the entire vagina and even the anus, and so all stimulation in those areas add to the final release. The hot feeling increases in intensity, it makes you pump and squirm and moan with it, like having to reach for what is tickling and teasing you in that very spot. Then when it comes, when it finally comes, it almost feels like a wonderful electrocution in that area, like somebody plugged you into soft warm electricity and it lightly pinches and lights up every nerve ending in your body until you literally tremble and strain with it.
When you know the orgasm is there, (you can usually tell by the pitch of her moans) pull back on the harder stimulation for a brief moment while the orgasm “hits” or “plugs in” to her body. You can aid the orgasm with very light stimulation to sort of give thrust to that initial launch of pleasure. If I rub fast and hard, it’ll make the orgasm HARD, but almost loses something, not sure why, maybe the ability to really experience every bit and depth of the pleasure? It’s just kind of untempered. I like mine hard yet tempered. If I rub lightly, it’s just better for me.
I mentioned the G spot. There is a dispute about its existence but I can tell you for a fact, whatever it’s called, there is a spot deep inside that when hit with the head of the penis or stimulated with the finger, produces almost a muscle laxative effect, in addition to intense sensation that is sort of breath stealing in a pleasurable way. To describe the feeling created when stroking it is difficult, but I’ll try to associate it with something. I think it’s like when the lower back is massaged, it creates instant pleasure on location. It’s like that in a way, except what’s being stroked creates a wave of erotic pleasure on location that just floods the entire system. Sort of like the pleasure of an orgasm on touch but without the building up requirement. It’s like a naked pleasure and it doesn’t need persuading or building, it just. feels. good.
I believe there are two G spots or spots inside that create a similar effect. A shallow one and a deep one.
The shallow one is located on the vaginal wall, stomach side. While a woman lies on her back, and the middle finger is inserted into the vagina, palm up, you can reach the spot that way–it’s about a finger length in. To stimulate it, you move your finger in a “come to me” motion. When this area is stroked properly, you will see what this pleasure does. Her mouth opens with those wonderful gasping moans men love to hear, her head thrashes, her hips reach, her breasts thrust into the air. I prefer to be laying when stimulated due to that muscle laxative effect, it makes it hard to stand.
The second G spot is located deep. You can reach it with your finger also. I believe it’s a harder gland and when you flick it with your finger, or hit it with the head of the penis, it creates that same effect as the shallow G spot I just described.
So, the woman has 3 powerhouses of pleasure. They can work against each other or for each other. Often times women cannot achieve clitoral orgasm if the G spot is being too stimulated. The G spot is like a pleasure bully and it disrupts the delicate dance required when building the clit toward that perfect orgasm. So, the trick is to learn to use the clotoris stimulation and the G spot stimulation so that they work FOR each other, rather than against.
As I said, if the G spot is stimulated before the clit has reached proper arousal, the G spot sensation just rolls right over the clit sensation. Remember, the clit has to be built properly, the G spot doesn’t. So, using the G spot to serve the clitoral orgasm makes for a super nova orgasm. But women are different and this must be practiced and explored and tested. Yay.
I think the shallow G spot location is the perfect clitoral orgasm building aid. If you rotate between rapid in and out shallow thrusts with a finger, to using that come to me motion on the shallow G spot, then the clit will continue it’s slow perfect climb toward orgasm. Once the clitoris is stimulated to a certain point (you’ll know by the amount of arousal she’s displaying) then you can move to penal penetration and use the deeper G spot to finish the show. Don’t forget. Legs forced open wide!
I’m not sure my G spot comes with an orgasm function, or maybe I haven’t discovered it, it just feels super awesome when the spot is stimulated, but it doesn’t seem to build toward some sort of “release.” The most I feel with the G spot stimulation as far as release goes, is, it feels like I might just pee everywhere if it goes any further, or maybe even vomit from the intensity. So, I don’t try to orgasm with g-spot stimulation, I just allow that powerful pleasure sensation to ride alongside my clitoral orgasm.
Other than that, women usually like being driven into, pumped hard and overwhelmed on the g-spot at the exact point of clitoral orgasm, so, give it all you got once her clitoral orgasm has begun (give it maybe 7 seconds before pounding in, to make sure she’s achieved peak) There is just something extremely arousing about the male plowing into us that we need and want. The term YES, FUCK ME sums it up quite nicely, when you hear her demand that, please… please, LISTEN and DO IT.
Having my neck sucked hard during this if possible is just THE BOMB.
When I’m not having sex and I think of that deep G spot being rammed, it makes my tummy tickle inside with excitement. When I think of clitoral orgasm, my clit throbs. It’s a delicate dance between these two pleasure sources, but one worth practicing and learning. Some orgasms are better and stronger and longer than others and I’m never sure what ingredient produces the perfect/imperfect effect.
And there you have it. It’s not an exhaustive piece on the topic, but it’s a good start. Keep in mind, I’m not an expert, just a woman giving my personal opinion on the topic. If anybody has any questions, I’d be happy to answer if I can. If I can’t, maybe some of the other readers could that have more experience, or varied experience. Again, there are no sure and fast rules to how the body works when it comes to our sexuality. Many things define it, so, I think they are a lot like fingerprints, no two are stimulated exactly the same.
This covered the physical aspect of the female orgasm. There is an emotional aspect that comes into play as well. But that is another topic. But to close with a word of advice on it. If a woman doesn’t feel loved and cherished, the sexual experience will not be all it could and should be.
And that’s that! Thank you anonymous friend for divulging all this amazing information about the female orgasm!!